It's been 6 weeks and I have talked to my husband once. I spend 6 weeks crying, waiting, hoping an wishing for more calls. My nerves couldn't handle it every day. It was a sad way to live. Christmas day I was convinced I would get a call, since he had mentioned it multiple times in letters and the only time we spoke. All day I sat alone, sulking, and hopelessly waiting for a call from the only person I've ever spent Christmas with for the past 6 years. It never came.
My heart was not broken, but hardened. That day was my breaking point, and I became the rock he asked me to be for him. I can not go through out my days doing this anymore. I just have to live normally and go on with my days. I can't be sad or lonely anymore. It's not productive, or conducive to my mental health. Would I cherish a call from the love of my life? Without a doubt. Will I cry anymore from loneliness? Hell no. I need to be strong for him because he is giving his all right now, for us. The least I can do is give my all as a woman, and a housewife. These 9 weeks are not only for him, but for me too. And I'm so happy I found myself sooner than later in this journey. I feel like I can breathe again.
Bring on the next 20+ years. I'm ready.
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